When I am alone I discover
who I want to be,
When I am with others I
discover who I really am.[1]
Anyone who has spent time living
in community will know the truth of these words. Ideals and theories are very
important; community cannot work without a set of shared values and
aspirations. But no matter how good is the
ideal a certain amount of failure is inevitable. As human beings we get tired,
we get frustrated, we get irritated, we get angry. There is a darker side to
life. Healthy relationships have their difficulties. Knowing how to apology and
how to forgive is essential.
Here at Corrymeela such
self-evident human realities take on a deeper significance. If we are not able
to recognise our own failings, if in our own small way we are not able to be
reconciled to each other, then what hope is there that we can walk alongside
others in their search or reconciliation? Being alongside those who have lived
in a culture of hate necessitates an internal struggle with the darkness within
ourselves. I too have a capacity to hate, I too have a difficulty to forgive.
Recognising this self-darkness
can be a very de-stabilising experience. It ignites within us some very
primeval reactions. We feel an impulse to fight or flight. To ignore our own
darkness and pretend it isn’t there; or to desperately try to justify why in
our case the circumstances are different, we genuinely are a special case! Such
reactions lead us nowhere. All too easily we could descend into an abyss of
depression and aggressiveness. Or instead we could create for ourselves a
fantasy world where we are the sovereign king, we run away from our darkness and pretend that we have everything sorted out,
pitifully looking down on others as poor squabbling peasants.
Our prayer is a response to this reality. From a
Christian perspective prayer is our road out of such dead-ends.
Prayer is absolutely central to
working for reconciliation. In prayer we simply allow ourselves to be loved by
God. We allow ourselves to be embraced despite all our hate, despite all our
darkness, despite all to inability to forgive. In prayer we are reminded of the
infinite value and worth which God sees in each human person. It is from this
love that we can draw the strength to live with ourselves, not denying but
accepting our darkness. It is in prayer that we can let go of our superiorities
and accept that we are weak, fragile and broken. It is in prayer that we can find hope.
The work of reconciliation
involves prayer not because we think God can magically solve the world’s
problem. We pray because reconciliation is only possible when we know that they
are loved, a way forward is only possible when we can discover a hope.
[1]
This is a quote from someone or other, I haven’t been able to find out who said
or wrote it, if you know then please let me know.
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